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CHAPTER 7
The Student and the Guru, just completing a vigorous hike to Angel's Landing, were navigating the trail that leads down to the upper pond, where the waterfall cascaded into the open crevasse. All along the way there were "quiet corners," areas where students and teachers could escape for a quiet moment in a grove of trees, a grotto of ferns, a waterfall or a pond to swim in. There were two caves along the way as well, used for special enlightenment-in-the-dark retreats. Most of these spots were equipped with comfortable chaise chairs, tables and awning-like shelters fashioned from local flora. The Student was sorting through some difficult concepts.
 Student: "What is the definition of Ascension?"
Guru: "What is the definition of its opposite?"
Student: "Descension: to go downward, to fall."
Guru: "Then what is the definition of Ascension?"
Student: "OK. I get your point. But what does it mean to us?"
Guru: "Let me ask you this: By implying ascent, must we then also imply descent?"
Student: "Yes. But we must have a place to descend from."
Guru: "And is there any part of that experience, the experience of descension, that does not belong to you? That you did not live? That you do not own?"
Student: "No. I did it all, by choice."
Guru: "Then what is Ascension?"
Student: "Based on this line of thinking it's my return, my return alone, to the place from which I descended."
Guru: "Based upon what you know, can it be a place?"
Student: "No."
Guru: "Can it be a point in time?"
Student: "Absolutely not."
Guru: "Then what would you be returning to?"
Student: "I guess the word return simply doesn't apply."
Guru: "What word serves the purpose?"
Student: "Maybe it's the restoration of what we are; the restoration of our original, or even true, being. And if that's the case, if I'm unlimited, then what could I possibly want? See, the whole series of mental exercises led me to believe, to...to know for the first time in my life, that I'm in want and need of nothing. That was one of the most spectacular realizations I've ever made! But I also see your point - our very purpose for being, our very meaning, is to create, and therefore I must want something. I must desire something. Right now I can't think of one thing I want. I like so many others have developed the deplorable habit of wanting on behalf of others. And in any case it seems that the trick is just to understand acceptance. You think that's true?"
Guru: "I think it might be true that there is something hard-coded in our world, something almost mathematical in nature, an equation that itself can express what acceptance means in the context of creation, and I do mean specifically the act of creating and not necessarily The All of Creation. A true mathematical equation, a code, that expresses 'I give unto you, the Cosmos, so that I may accept that which has been given.'"
The Student felt strange in that she seemed to be chasing the Guru. "Wait, say that again..."
They veered off the trail, picked their way through some trees, and came to a solid granite wall that reached up at least 100 feet and off to the sides where it merged with the forest. The Guru stepped through the rock wall.
The Student was speechless, but not for long. "Wait...how...?"
The Guru's voice came from the other side. "Well, don't just stand there. Come along."
The Student closed her eyes, put her attention on her I AM Presence and mustered all the faith and knowingness of which she was capable, and stepped forward, with her eyes still closed - if this was going to fail, she didn't want to see it. One step, two, three. Another step. She kept thinking she should feel something, but didn't. Deciding to peek, she opened one eye and found she was standing inside a cavern facing the Guru, who stood looking at her with a most marvelous smile.
Guru: "Holographic projection. It will be clear in due time." There, in the "vestibule," was a sort of altar, and above it, inscribed in a sandstone plaque like words from a Biblical Prophet, was this:
Below it was a painting, lit by candle, of someone's face. The Student got closer, Who is that? she thought. Wait a minute. It's me. It's a mirror! Amused, looking at herself, she said, "That's like the guy saying, 'How dare you accuse me of arrogance when I am in fact superior?'"
Guru: "Do you see why we never concern ourselves with what world leaders are doing? What the Global Elite is doing? We do not have the facility to remove from them their fears. Most of our world leaders are terrified, and we have a world population of sleep-walkers who blindly follow them. All we can do is keep our work front and center in our sight."
Student: "Bullies are the biggest cowards. Never thought of it that way."
The Guru walked on, deeper into the cavern. "You said a moment ago that you couldn't think of a single thing you want."
Student: "Right."
Guru: "That's not necessarily a bad frame of mind to be in. You see, you have arrived at a comprehension that you are not what you always believed yourself to be, that you have always had a very limited scope of what you are. That scope is expanding rapidly, and you must allow yourself to be in a sort of interval between recognizable states, as it were, like a rest period. Take advantage of your rest periods, I urge you. Maybe you don't know what you want right now because you're losing who you think you are. What is the only part of you that can be jealous?"
Student: "Ego."
Guru: "The only part of you that can perceive itself to be harmed by another?"
Student: "Ego."
Guru: "The only part of you that can feel emotional pain of any kind."
Student: "Ego."
Guru: "And what is the purpose of ego?"
Student: "I get it - to be fed. To get attention from others for whatever reason, and the fact is that everybody is just a mirror of everybody else. God suffers from an unbelievably vast condition of multiple personality syndrome. We're all just personalities, just faces of God. To expect someone else to act in a way with which we agree...well, that's like demanding that your angry self should be kinder to your sensitive self."
Guru: "You know what I hate?"
Student: "What?"
Guru: "When I'm talking to myself and I forget what I was saying."
The Student laughed aloud at that.
Guru: "I seem to be suffering from a loss of short term...uh...hmmmm...now what was that?"
They continued laughing together, and finally the Guru said, "Anyway, is there any real point to being fed in such a way?"
Student: "Not if you're God, no. That would be like the Sun expecting thanks for giving warmth."
Guru: "Does the Sun not deserve thanks?"
Student: "I didn't say that. I said...."
Guru: "I know what you said. Expectation gets you in trouble every time. Count on it. You're getting smarter."
The Student smiled, her heart warmed by the praise. Then she caught herself - He's clever, she thought. She had to talk, just plain had to. "I just responded with a secretion of chemicals from my hypothalamus gland because you gave me praise, and I'm positively addicted to the feeling the chemicals bring. Not the praise, mind you, but by my conditioned response to the praise as a feature of my ego. Wow."
The Guru stopped mid-stride. "Are you not human?"
Student: "Yes, I'm human."
Guru: "Did you not descend in order to experience this flood of chemicals that are in fact interpreted by the brain as emotion?"
Student: "Yes."
Guru: "And do you suppress that part of yourself?"
Student: "Suppress? No. Because that fuels the problem. But recognize it for what it is. You can stand outside yourself and be witness to your emotions and know at the same time that it's just chemicals designed to cause you to feel. What causes the chemicals is in itself not a bad thing, nor are the chemicals themselves. What turns it all into a bad thing is our judgment of it, our response. We descended in order to experience this."
Guru: "And that knowledge does what for you?"
Student: "It continues to elevate me out of my limited perception of what I am."
Guru: "And do you love yourself for having the desire and very frequently the courage to experience what you have chosen to?"
Student: "I'm learning to."
Guru: "And do you know that this is the very way in which you harmonize all of your aspects of being?"
Student: "By loving myself for having had the experiences, for having volunteered for them?"
Guru: "Yes."
Student: "I understand that. We can't go on judging our experiences forever. If we think we've been wronged, then we often seek revenge, or we at least think how we might exact our revenge, thus fueling the problem. And even if we don't seek or think about revenge, we still think we've been wronged and we wonder why. What we did to deserve it. That takes people spinning madly off into victimhood. But what was really happening is that we chose the experience so that we could see it and recognize it for what it is and learn to rise above the perception that we can be harmed. There is not a single experience that we ourselves didn't design in order to teach us precisely what we needed to learn."
He started walking again. "Splendid."
The Student Began to notice that there was no visible source of light, but the tunnel through which they passed seemed to be lit from the space itself. Presently they came into a larger chamber decorated liberally with stalactites and stalagmites, constructions made by human hands, sacred objects on flat surfaces and glyphs and symbols painted or carved in the stone. The chamber was shaped like a giant egg, and the constructions were similar to square and round pillars in ancient structures found throughout the world, with lintels that had what appeared to be stories carved in them. One caught his eye - it appeared to be two ram's horns which then morphed into dragons.
Guru: "And, along these lines, what then is forgiveness?"
Student: "It means a lot of things, but for me forgiveness is to throw out pride and take the stance that the buck has to stop somewhere, here, with me, to let someone off the hook for doing us wrong or harm. That frees both parties from each other, mentally and energetically, but especially us from the one we're forgiving. They don't live in each other's heads anymore. I realize also that it is often done with the purest love, to put it behind them and move on, and not anything to do with swallowing pride. It's also used by many to position themselves on the higher ground, to prove to the party forgiven that they are the superior because they have it in them to forgive."
Guru: "And do you think that the act of forgiveness helps us to rise above the tumult, the madness of human experience?"
Student: "It has for me. I mean, it's helped me to let go of a lot of things."
Guru: "How can you be so arrogant?"
Student: "Oh, God. Not again."
Guru: "I'm serious. Did you or did you not choose all of your experiences?"
The Student, walking about and examining the curios, stopped cold in her tracks and stared at nothing. Slowly, barely perceptibly, she began shaking her head. "Wow. It's unbelievable what gets so rooted in our consciousness. After all I've learned and didn't recognize that most simple thing."
Guru: "Yes. Did you think it was possible to be wronged or harmed in some way without the participation of a volunteer to play that role? Hm? Did you think that you could be harmed by something other than another human? What if you were attacked by a tiger? Would you feel the need to forgive the tiger?"
The Student wasn't really listening. "All who have wronged me throughout my entire Lifestream, through a thousand lifetimes, were enlisted by me to carry out the wronging or harming. And I take the arrogant position that I have a right to forgive them. I actually have them to thank! Oh, my God. That's a big one. Without them I wouldn't have had my experiences." She sat down on what appeared to be a throne made of stone, put her elbows on her knees and her hands in her hair. "Wow," she said again.
Guru: "Let me ask you, then, 'Is it the ego that needs to both give and receive forgiveness?"
CHAPTER 8
The Student and the Guru were deep inside one of the caves, in a room especially designed to facilitate the potential of conscious transdimensional experience, which itself would be catalyzed and dynamically organized by the Student's ability to accept, and by his or her individual clarity and intent. The Guru was sitting in an armed chair that for all intents and purposes looked like a fancy electric chair but with gorgeous gilding and filligree, crystals, and a lotus-shaped crystalline flower suspended on a curled stem that came to rest pointing downward above her head.
The Student was reclined on a wooden chaise lounger outfitted with an embroidered cushion with wire leads that lead away from underneath it and attached to hand-held Vajras made of synthetically grown quartz crystal and sacred geometrical forms on either end, which were made of thick gold wiring. From the ceiling of the chamber hung a large star tetrahedron also made of gold wiring. The entire chamber reeked of Arcana and Esoterica, but with modern trappings in the mix, all of which was interspersed between the stalagmites, clearly with intended design and placement, or built right into the cavern walls. It was lighted by the conical stalactites hanging from the ceiling. The Student resolved to ask about that later.
Guru: "We have reached a point where most mundane languages and concepts would be stretched to their limits to provide explanation and still would fall short. One of the better approaches for understanding is to address the word 'integrity.' For our purposes, this meaning will do: 'The state of being undivided, whole, complete.' It is said about a boat or ship that the hull has lost its integrity, meaning that parts of the hull have become divided and can no longer prevent water from leaking in and sinking her, that its integrity must be restored.
"Have you ever wondered about the relationship between the words integrated and integrity and integer?"
Student: "No, I must admit I haven't, but it makes sense. They all mean the same thing. Having bullet-proof integrity is the same as being wholly integrated?"
Guru: "In a manner of speaking, yes. We have to once again touch upon quantum theory. Of the many interpretations of quantum mechanics, one stands out as relating directly to our context. Hugh Everett, in the 1950s, proposed the 'many worlds interpretation' of the quantum theory. We'll simplify it here. He proposed that there are an infinite number of parallel universes, or realities, all of which are context dependent, meaning that any chain of events is its own context. Let's give an example. Let's say Attum pages you with a message that says, 'Let's meet at the archery range on Wednesday.' Interestingly, there are three main categories of response: (One) I can't, for whatever reason, (two) I won't for whatever reason, (three) I'll see you there. Let's say you chose the third, 'I'll see you there.'
"In the many worlds interpretation, and adding some of our own thinking, each of those potentialities carries itself out because a thought, as you know, is a thing, and there isn't any fundamental and inherent mechanism in the Cosmic Toolbox that will automatically attach itself to the other two potential series of events and dispose of them in some way. So, in a parallel universe, the potential that you chose not to meet with her in fact is carried out in a parallel reality in which the reason that you couldn't meet with her becomes its own chain of events. Now, is there any reason to believe that there isn't an entire parallel reality in which the other potentials take place? And do you have any reason to question that any of this is so?"
Neve: "No. All potential always exists. It can't be any other way."
Guru: "So, in that regard, you, here and now, the Neve who is here and speaking to me now, are a context, an ongoing cause in a setting in which events occur based upon your choices and input, but you are only consciously aware of your own chain reaction by consciously making the choice you did because this is the setting, the framework, in which the Now-You is observing."
Neve: "OK. I'm with you so far. I've seen movies that tried to explain this."
Guru: "Now, let's hypothetically carry out the chain of events that resulted from the version of you that chose the second option, 'I won't,' but let's give it a reason. Let's say that you decided to harbor resentment towards her for pushing you off the cliff that day. If you noticed, you didn't respond in any way when climbing back up, almost as though the event didn't happen. Attum's affectionate little push almost ended the you that is here now and yet you responded, you reacted, in no way."
The Student was looking at him like, 'How could you have known about that?' and then he thought, Wait, why didn't I react? That's weird.
Guru: "It's not important. Let's stick with this. Let's divide you into several Neves: Neve A climbed back up the vine and went on with no reaction whatsoever, and several days later chooses to meet with Attum at the archery range on Wednesday. Neve B harbors resentment still and says, 'No, I won't meet with you,' but doesn't tell her why he won't. Neve C simply has studying to do and can't meet with her. Now, there is a Neve D. Neve D is the one that actually fell to his death off the cliff, and Neve D is angry and resentful about it, thus causing Neve B to experience anger and resentment from a source he can't quite put a finger on. After all, did Attum really mean to kill him? No. But Neve B, being influenced by Neve D, climbs back up the vine and starts shouting angrily at Attum for pushing him and almost killing him.
"Each of these chains of events can actually have their own historical contexts that reach all the way back to the 15th century, as an example. In fact, the historical context heading backwards in time constructs itself with the same flexibility and ease with which the future history constructs itself. Let's say that there is an Attum B who did the pushing because she was resentful about Neve B being just a little condescending towards her throughout their training together."
Neve sat bolt upright. "OK! Now wait a sec...!"
Guru: "Let me finish. You're in the perfect frame of mind. To illustrate, it just so happens that in one of your embodiments you were a young man in a school and all the students but you were girls. This school taught much of what we do here and in the circumstances the collective feminine energy assisted them to advance more quickly than you were able to. They didn't make fun of you or anything like that, but you have harbored resentment ever since then towards fellow students who are females. Not females in general, but fellow students who are female. Do you find the flaw in my explanation?"
Neve thought hard for a moment, and then the light went on. "Yes! Time doesn't exist!"
Guru: "Explain."
Neve: "You said I 'have harbored resentment ever since,' but that implies time. I harbor resentment because that embodiment of the kid in the school is going on right this minute! I am being influenced by Neve E, that resentful kid, who simply goes under another name and is found in another historical context, and that kid is in me now, acting out his own context completely unaware of me and being influenced by me and me by him. Ho! If I have some enormous epiphany, like now, he's also going to have a moment of...well, clarity, or truth, or whatever."
Guru: "Ah, bravo! Excellent!"
Neve: "And I also slipped out of my integrity by refusing to meet with her because of my resentment. The version of me with integrity would have explained to her why I wouldn't meet with her, but not the prideful one, the one with the ego. That's how integration is brought about. My integrity is the integration of my multiple aspects of being."
Guru: "Or maybe you're a gemstone, an unbelievably complex diamond, and all its many facets are the many versions of you. But examine the word facet. It's related to the word face. And look at all those many faces of the diamond, all of them looking outward from a different angle, from a slightly different position, unable to see each other while looking outward, but by looking inward, they each can see all of the faces of the others, but inverted, like in a mirror."
Neve: "That would explain the thousands of targets in a pretty direct way! Was I looking inward to see those targets?"
They were both quietly thoughtful for a moment, and then the Guru said, "Based upon what you know about Attum's experience in the waterfall cave, how does this relate to free will?"
Neve settled back on the lounger, saying, "I see your point, I think. There was only one way for her to go, period, and all she had to do was make the decision and then act. She created a number of other potentialities, chains of events in parallel realities, as potential choices because of her fear. Had she been a totally integrated being she would have known the integral trajectory naturally and then made the decision without hesitation, thus not bringing into being at all the potential of Attums B and C by whom to be influenced. That's incredible."
Guru: "And here's the kicker. Would Attum have been in that cave at all were she a totally integrated being?"
Neve was nodding: "Only for the fun of it. She wouldn't need to be there for the purpose of learning. It's as though fear or...or difficult circumstance are integral with learning. Wait, did I just say integral? Thinking, speaking and acting in every way right NOW is the causal catalyst for bringing integration into being, only it goes both forwards and backwards 'in time,' bringing integrity to the entirety of my Lifestream and in every historical context. There are millions of versions of me, all of which must be integrated."
Guru: "So, is there any reason to make a substantial differentiation between Neves A, B, C, D and Peter?"
Neve: "Peter? Who's Peter?"
Guru: "Peter's the disciple of Jesus who deeply resented Mary Magdalene. Do you know why?"
Neve: "Yes, I do. I can see it before me right this minute. Because there was a version of him that...there was a version of me that hated it when girls were better at things. I've been like that all my life. It's so...I don't know what it is, but the trick is to simply be conscious of it. Because of my realizations, my integrity, Peter, the Biblical Peter, will at least to some extent let go of 'his' resentments towards women, and so will the kid who was...is his influence. Peter, the one that lived two thousand years ago but lives and acts now, in me, will begin to act with integrity, integrated, maybe even changing his future, our now, by doing so, giving us a more conducive and pleasant environment in which to thrive."
Guru: "So, at this moment it's about integration. Do you still have a question about Ascension?"
Neve: "Yes, I do. Based upon what I thought I knew about it, what I've read or been told, verses the train of thought you've guided me through, it would almost seem to me to be a sort of dangling carrot, a type of myth used to give people something to aspire to without having to go into a great deal of explanation of concepts that would be almost impossible to grasp from within a mental framework the concepts themselves are intended to deconstruct."
The Guru laughed aloud at that.
Neve: "What's so funny?"
Guru: "I don't know if you know what you just said, but it was pretty close to the mark. But what if I told you that so-called Ascension is the permanent and irrevocable establishment of supreme blissful happiness?"
Neve: "That would...uh...hm...well, after all, what more could you want? I mean..." he chuckled "...I can picture someone saying, 'Oh, well, that's just fine! Supreme happiness? What a crock that is! Why would I want supreme happiness when I could be superhuman? I was supposed to have superpowers!'" He was speaking like a spoiled child. "'We don't need no stinking happiness! I wanted to escape this horrible nightmare! Fine! Make me happy then!'" Neve crossed his arms and nodded once demonstratively, and he was laughing harder. "I can just picture the tantrum people would throw!" He was positively giddy, strangely intoxicated and teetering, the way one might be after crossing the desert, dying of thirst, and realizing it was just a mirage.
Guru: "Precisely. And do you know why we have gone through this mental tributary today?"
Neve: "I think so," he laughed, wiping the tears of laughter away. "Uh, whew! That's funny. Anyway...we have unintegrated aspects of our being, disharmonious aspects, past lives, current thought-forms, even hereditary patterns, that are let's say lodged in our systems, and these are densities of a sort - these keep us anchored in our density, so to speak. They are the only things standing between us and perfect, supreme happiness. Harmonizing these is the act of integrating them. Being integrated is being supremely happy?"
Guru: "The word 'anchor' was precisely the one I was looking for. If you have anything left to let go, is it an anchor?"
Neve: "Oh, yeah. No doubt. That ties in with forgiveness..."
Guru: "And remember that as a species our worst habit is to look around and want to change something. If you look outside yourself and see anything you want to change, how can you be supremely happy?"
Neve: "True. So there are two things standing between us and the goal of happiness."
Guru: "There's still only one," she said, crooking a single finger in the air. "When you view that which you want to change, you have become another divided potentiality, another unintegrated aspect of you because you become what your attention rests upon - you are one with a perceived imperfection."
Neve: "So what about Jesus and Buddha and um...what's his name? Saint Geronimo or whatever his name is...what about them? It wasn't about just happiness for them. They did have what we would see as superpowers, didn't they? Or is that just myth?"
Guru: "For you, what would be your purpose for having superpowers?"
Neve: "I would manifest abundance."
Guru: "In what form?"
Neve: "Gold. I'd manifest gold."
Guru: "And if you could manifest gold, what would you do with it?"
Neve: "I'd turn it into cash and make house payments, buy food."
Guru: "And if you could manifest gold, why not instead just manifest food and a house?"
Neve was thoughtful for a moment. "To sleep in. But why would I need sleep?"
Guru: "And if you could do those things, would there be any point? Why would you need food or a house?"
Neve: "I see your point."
Guru: "What if existing in this system has embedded mathematical codes that call for the need for shelter?"
Neve: "And so living in this system by default calls for being complete, whole in this system, or we desire to escape this system, or to change it, or whatever?"
Guru: "And if you desire escape from this system, what do you have?"
Neve: "Another unintegrated aspect of my being. I'm not happy about something."
Guru: "So, if you could open your hand and have within it a lump of gold, who would it benefit?"
Neve: "Not me, certainly, because I wouldn't need it. And it couldn't benefit others, ultimately, unless they were willing to accept it from me, but then they will not have learned to do it themselves, so in its own way it would be a detriment. They have to proceed through their own learning processes, which they choose, in order to learn this."
Guru: "Bingo."
Neve: "And so I would create what I want using the tools available in this system, and in so doing abundance is what is created for All as a by-product of the fulfillment of my own personal desires. The wealth can't help but spread."
Guru: "So what do you want?"
Neve: "I want to create abundance and joy and share it with anyone is willing to accept it."
Guru: "Don't you love sailing?"
Neve: "Yes, very much."
Guru: "Do you have a sailboat?"
Neve: "No. My dream is to have an eighty foot Swedish-built Swan. Beautiful boat. I want to sail the world! Good lord! How could I have not seen that?"
Guru: "Is there any reason in the world whatsoever to believe that God does not want to sail on that beautiful boat?"
Neve: "None. God wants to experience everything! And what I do to create the resources enabling me to obtain it is also creating abundance for those who are willing to accept it."
Guru: "Would sailing the world make you happy?"
Neve jerked upright. "Ecstatically. It would be a constant orgasm for me. So we're full circle on happiness. Maybe what it's about is that we reach a pinnacle of being in this system where it's so ecstatic for us every day that it would be unthinkable to change it, or to escape from it. You'd have to drag us out of it kicking and screaming. And that's when we've absolutely mastered it."
Guru: "Ah, mastery. Is that not what the so-called Ascended Masters have done?"
Neve: "So why do they have these abilities?"
Guru: "What purpose do those abilities serve?"
Neve: "The only purpose I can think of is to demonstrate that nothing is impossible. They're the dangling carrot. The golf score you can never reach. The lover you can never have. They're role is to materialize just long enough to show us that there's more, something much more to aspire to."
Guru: "So you could say that all They Themselves were and are doing is playing a role, and in that capacity their purpose and their abilities are One."
Neve: "So what if my purpose for being doesn't include those powers? Is that what you're saying?"
Guru: "Mostly. But if your purpose doesn't, can you be at peace with it?"
Neve: "I'm good with that. Ecstatic happiness is all I want anyway, and so my only role is to do and to create what makes me happy. I like the simplicity of it. If I could create on demand, I'd get downright bored with it, and fast. I can see that. I can see myself like that guy in India that manifests stuff sitting around with all these devoted types wanting to be blessed, and I'm manifesting a strawberry made of gold or something and saying 'Yada yada yada...here, take this souvenir and go.' If I could manifest on demand, I'd be bored out of my mind, in fact. I'd rather watch the bearing of the various fruits of my labors and how it affected people's lives. That's what I would find rewarding. But I can tell you this in Truth: I would like to be able to dematerialize my body here and rematerialize it on that boat so that I wouldn't have to fly."
Guru: "And so shall it be. But at the same time, will you also promise to purchase the first-class airline ticket so that the airline employees can benefit from your abundance, whether you must use the ticket or not? Or better still, do you promise to manifest the means by which you obtain a private jet you can get around on?"
Neve: "Fair enough." He nodded once and nestled back again on the recliner. "But you know all this modern new-agey thinking makes you believe that consumerism is a bad thing. That the jet fuel I'm burning and polluting the sky with is exactly what needs to go away..."
Guru: "OK. Then why not create a jet fuel that burns flower essences and leaves rainbow contrails? Now that would make you a billion."
Neve: "And it would be so much fun! Or...or even an aircraft that worked on antigravity."
Guru: "Boy oh boy, now that would change the world."
Neve: "Change? You're busted..."
Guru: "Why?"
Neve: "You said 'change the world.'"
Guru: "You're right, but I did it on purpose. See, all you did was create an antigravity craft to get to your boat because you wanted it, and now that you have, it's also available to the world. If the world is ready for it, it will purchase it and implement it, thus by choice changing itself and you get rich, even if you don't want to be. The abundance flows to you because you were able to clearly see and therefore define what you want and to go about the necessary action of creating it. Whatever you do with the money you don't want is up to you, but you can be sure it will be flowing to you. Do you think God doesn't want to be rich?"
Neve: "No. God wants to experience everything."
Guru: "At this point I'll share a secret, but for now we won't take it any further than this."
Neve: "OK."
Guru: "Joy. A moment ago you said your only role is to do and to create what makes you happy."
Neve: "OK."
Guru: "This is all I'm going to say about it for now. Is your happiness attached to obtaining that boat?"
Neve was on the verge of overwhelm, thinking that he needed a cigarette. "Well," he finally whispered, staring off into space, "I think you could say that it's the point one reaches when there is nothing left to be learned through strife or difficult circumstances, in a way, like taking all you've learned and integrating it. It then rises from that perspective and becomes spontaneous creative play. There is a sowing side and a reaping side to it. Your work becomes your play, which is the sowing, and abundance is the result, and then you buy things that make you happy, the reaping, and go play some more. Integration is what releases embedded information. No more conditioned response. No programmed reaction in fear. Attum told me that integration comes about by harmonizing those aspects of being with your Now-Self, and that the harmonization comes about by loving yourself and your experiences completely."
Guru: "Is love ever incomplete?"
Neve: "You know what I mean. We don't need to split hairs. That's why she was saying that forgiveness, from the higher perspective, can actually be counterproductive, because in doing so you're simply acknowledging something that isn't true, and that's that you can be harmed or wronged when in fact you chose the experience for which you have the arrogance to believe you have the self-righteousness to forgive. Forgiving is not the same as letting go. Forgiveness implies there are two participants, when there truly is only one. I am the one being harmed and also the one doing the harming. Which is why Love, the One True Thing, is the only means by which it can be harmonized."
Guru: "Do you suppose that what you just said might be the truer meaning behind the saying, 'If you truly Love it, then you must let it go.'"
Neve: "I don't know why not."
Guru: "If you found out this minute that you were the principal cause of the deaths of thousands and thousands of people in a needless slaughter, what would you think of yourself?"
Neve: "Now? Nothing. I'd know that I was carrying out by agreement an act with which all of those thousands of people agreed, just playing my role. And I do forgive...I mean, I do love myself for it, for...wow...for having the courage to volunteer to be a monster conjured into being by a mass of consciousnesses that felt they needed to experience something. This room is great. I can see the event laid out in living color right in front of me. I ordered the slaughter of thousands, and you know what? Oh, man, it felt great at the time! I can't believe I'm saying that!"
Guru: "And do you despise yourself right now for feeling great about that?"
Neve: "I do. I'm judging it, me. I feel like I have to atone for it."
Guru: "Atone, exactly the word I was looking for. At-One. Do you see?"
Neve: "And how do I do that? By letting go of it? Does that get it done?"
Guru: "It can, yes, but not to get it out of your system because you can't stand the thought of it - that's an unintegrated potential you. So you must learn to love yourself for it. Love is At-Onement. And there is an additional way."
Neve: "Bring it on."
Guru: "You could always invent an antigravity aircraft with which to bless humanity, but always remember that your creation probably won't come into being if the purpose of your creating it is atonement. It must be because your creation and the act of creating it are united as One in Joy."
Neve was nodding, a sinister little smile on his face. "Because creation is itself pure joy? Creation is joy? The same way an orgasm creates a baby?"
The Guru stood up. "That's enough for now on that."
Neve: "Oh, no you don't. There's more. I can see it all over you."
The Guru lit an incense on a stone tabletop, took a small shoot from a live plant, asked the shoot if it could be used for the purpose of helping Neve with integration, and then stood stock still, eyes closed.
Neve: "OK, have it your way. I'll let it go for now. This has been strange. It seems as though everything I look at now also depicts its perfect opposite in an impossibly complex yet simple, like...Boom! Like everything is this Shakespearean moment where everything hinges on this perfect zero point. The thing and its opposite are the same, just inverted somehow. I mean words like 'forgiveness,' it's such a virtue from the conventional standpoint and yet it's so flawed. It's inverted self is its Truth, somehow, or maybe its True Self. The Truth of the word hope, for example. It's Truth is that it should not even be necesary. If it's not necessary, it has no purpose, and if it has no purpose, then...well...we know what that means. Can a word have ego? I've been having this dream...it's so weird. I'm dreaming that I'm a young girl and I'm speaking in front of hundreds of people, and I'm smart, I'm so much smarter than everybody in that room, but I don't have an ego about that. But the thing that's wild is that I have full memory of everything around me, and my life as this little girl. I even know her name - Seashella. And it's not on Earth. This planet where she lives is so beautiful. I can see it right now, and it's..."
"This chamber has been set up for her purpose because she's made of granite that contains a lot of quartz," the Guru interrupted, "about fifty percent quartz, in fact. When you put pressure on quartz, it creates an electromagnetic field that itself has an intelligence that can be consciously directed. There is tremendous pressure on this chamber from the mountain above; thus we're in a space that itself is a powerful vessel for this intelligent electromagnetic field."
Neve was feeling a little strange. "You said 'Her purpose'...this room..."
Guru: "Oh, yes." She lit the plant shoot, which crackled as it burned without flame, and passed it beneath Neve's nostrils. The scent was wildly attractive. "This chamber is a she, and she loves her work very much. She likes to think of this egg-shaped space as her womb, which is fitting because she has given birth here many many times."
The Guru held the shoot in her left hand, while her right hand was empty, palm facing outward. She closed her right hand into a fist. Quietly, she spoke some words in a language Neve couldn't place, and then opened her right hand to reveal a fist-sized black seashell, shaped somewhat like a conche shell. She handed it to Neve. It was so dark it almost seemed to swallow light, but as he looked closer he saw that it was a very dark blue, and it seemed dense, fossilized even.
Neve was vaguely aware that he should be astonished, but he wasn't. There was something very natural about these occurrences. There was a question somewhere in him, but he couldn't remember what it might be. The shell began to throb, and he realized that it was a heart. Looking up at the Guru, Neve saw a face he didn't recognize.
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