Attum didn't know how to feel, what to think, what to say. Making her way up the trail to the invisible cave, the Guru's voice kept ringing over and over in her head, "Stay completely centered in your I AM Presence, your focus gently and easily on It as frequently as possible." She wasn't entirely sure what that meant in a purely mechanical sense, but she could naturally get empty, quiet and focused.
The best she could guess, something big had happened to Neve. She hadn't seen him in a week. Although whatever it was was the hubbub around LATA, nobody knew anything, but there was certainly much debate, conjecture, gossip and guesswork. He had died. He'd flipped out. He'd crossed into another dimension. Maybe he had a near death experience. Maybe he was faking some cosmic experience. Maybe he was engaging in sacred sexual rituals! The Guru happened to be within earshot one day when one of the students suggested that one, and she'd gone off laughing as hard as a person can while walking at the same time. Throughout the seven day period, all the Guru would do is smile, but it could be said the smile wasn't one of happiness.
To Attum, the facts were these: Neve and the Guru were in the cave the day after she herself was in that profoundly powerful place. The Guru emerged from the cave several hours after entering, instructing that nobody should bother him - he was "processing." There were LATA attendants that had begun taking bowls of food to him, mainly consisting of nuts and dates, some fruits, carrots. Fresh and highly energized water was plentiful in the cave itself.
Then three days ago, they came and took her for several days of quiet time in a dark room, feeding her only nuts, dates, certain grains and fruits, telling her to keep her attention as frequently as possible on her I AM Presence. They had also been keeping her well fortified with a white powder and amber liquid made from gold, which was having a very expansive effect on her.
Right now, she felt some apprehension, but not fear. It wasn't fear. In her heart she knew she was about to experience something astonishing and had resigned herself completely to that, self-imposing an inevitability. Walking to the left off of the main trail, she came to the "rock" wall, smiled and stepped through it.
Inside it was totally black. She waited for her eyes to adjust, but it wasn't happening. She felt a little disoriented and was tempted to step back out into the light, but then she heard a whisper.
"Attum. Hi. Thanks for coming. Sorry about the total dark, but it must be this way for now."
"Why?"
"Because light would illuminate what isn't there."
She felt him near her. The energy pouring from him was almost too much. His hand was suddenly in hers as he said, "The first thing you have to know is that I love you. The word is complete unto itself. You don't need to wonder beyond that. Come on."
She allowed herself to be led by the hand down the corridor she had walked eight days ago. Her eyes were stretched open to their limits and yet she was totally blind. The pace at which he moved was astonishing. Finally, he took her hands and tucked them into the back of his trousers. "Hang on. You won't trip on anything, so stop thinking it. Stay in your I AM Presence. Above all, that."
I love you, he'd said. She felt strangely as though she had never experienced that much honesty behind those three words. "Can you tell me anything at all about what's going on here?"
"Not really. Just trust this. Remember your I AM."
There was something different about his voice, a shift in timbre, multitoned, almost as though his voice were coming from more than one person, or even this rock. She sensed that they had reached the main egg-shaped chamber, and it began to dawn on her that she was about to undergo a type of birth. Reaching back and taking her hand he led her to the now infamous recliner chaise with the cushion, electrical leads, magnets and Vajras.
"Tell me again why it has to be dark?"
"Because if it were light I wouldn't be able to see. I know that sounds a little cryptic but it's not. There's nothing wrong with your curiosity, so put that out of your mind."
This was the second time he'd positively nailed what her thoughts were. Around LATA, that was becoming fairly commonplace amongst the students, but this was razor sharp. She felt palpably that they were sharing a mind, were even merged in some inexplicable way.
"I'd like to calm down a little. Is there any..."
"It's by your right hand. Careful."
She nudged her hand a little and encountered a clay cup. Lifting it by the handle she put it to her lips and tasted jasmine. It was soothing.
"Wait, how...?"
"When it's time." His voice was coming from the direction of the chair the Guru used eight days ago. "Let me bring you up to speed. There is a planet, a kind of brother planet to Earth, and there is an individual on it with whom I connected seven days ago. She has the most vast intellect and consciousness imaginable. The Guru brought through a seashell - it's sitting ten inches to your right but don't reach for it - and that seashell became a heart somehow, like in its true form that's what it is, began to throb, and suddenly...I was her and she was me. It's still going on. I'm still expanding to fill the space that she opened in the vacuum around me."
"What do you mean the Guru 'brought through'?"
"It'll all make as much sense as it can as we go along. She handed me the shell, and I looked at it when it started to throb like a heart. And when I looked up at her she was no longer the Guru but someone I didn't recognize. At the same moment, on their planet, Seashella - that's her name - was handed a shell just like it but an inverted color, light yellowish where this one is dark blue. The very second both of us had it in our hands, for me there was this unbelievable rush of energy that also had a sound, an all encompassing wall of sound, just incredible, overwhelming, and everything collapsed...more like shattered into bizarre geometry, much like the folding and overlapping geometric imagery we saw in the trees and targets that day on the archery range. Then, all time and space dissolved completely, leaving the two of us only, suspended in a vacuum where we were the only illuminated objects. Words can't do this justice, but I'll try.
"We seemed to be face-to-face, in a sense, and yet that isn't what it was. It was more like looking into a mirror and seeing myself looking back, but it was very definitely her face as seen through my programmed perceptual context, and yet we were clothed with one another, as though the mirror were a device to give us a frame of reference. She said, "You are my mirror. Attum, the onrush of love that I felt at that moment was the most..." his voice cracked with emotion, "...my God, there are no words that can come within millions of lightyears to describe the power, majesty and brilliance of the creationary intelligence we know as Love. I had no idea. None. After all I've experienced and felt, I had not even an inkling of that power. It was the most ecstatic experience I've ever had by ten-thousand orders of magnitude. Take the most mind-shattering orgasm you've ever had and amplify it by millions and you'd be coming close. It was so large I knew I couldn't contain it, that I was going to come completely apart, disassemble, disintegrate and become nothing because that which doesn't think is nothing. Then I lost all sense of ego. I lost myself, utterly, completely, to the point where I was on the verge of even losing self-awareness. And what is scary about that is that I was so enraptured by it I was willing to just give myself over to that golden-white light and allow it to consume and digest me. I honestly didn't care whether or not I was going to continue as a sentient self-awareness. Then somehow I regained some semblance of recognition of thought processes, and for a second I wanted to die, and then I realized how preposterous that feeling was because I was already dead! And then I thought, 'Well, if I'm dead, then why the hell am I thinking? I started to laugh about that and I realized that she was laughing too, and I realized that our laughter was the same thing, from the same place. If my laughing was not, then hers was not.
"And for some reason that helped me to realize you don't contain IT, but as there is no boundary between you and the Truth of it, Love, you don't flow it, you don't feel it, you don't process it, you don't radiate it, emanate or anything like that. You are simply the IsNess of IT."
"That girl is thirteen years old, and I love her on an unspeakable, impossible level."
"And this was all gained through her?"
"No, it was gained through me, as her, who is me."
"Who is she?"
"She is me, and I am her. We're the same sentient creature occupying two different contexts of being. Time and space mean absolutely nothing, but you could say that she is occupying a point that in our perception of time would be in our future. She has reached across the distanceless chasm to contact us, and I was in phase with her resonance. An intelligence a hundred-trillion times beyond ours, the Cosmos Itself, arranged the appointment. She's here with us now, of course. She says she loves you."
At that moment golden warmth completely infused and enveloped Attum, causing her to swoon and lose her breath. "Oh, my." She was suddenly crying. "Oh, my. I love this girl. Instantly she's known to me as a sister. She's like my little sister. The overwhelming sense I get is innocence. She is innocence, the very essence of it."
"Guileless. Guilelessness is innocence, and the only way to be guileless is to be without judgment. God is innocence."
"How could any being who is so innocent also be so...vast...so unbelievably advanced?"
Neve chuckled. "That's actually the only way to achieve it."
Squinting into the blackness, Attum thought long and hard about that one. Finally, she asked, "Are they human?"
"To our perceptual context, yes, but how they appear to themselves is known only to them. To see them the way they see themselves you could only use the physical mechanism they're using for the purposes of perception. But see, that's why she was able to open the portal, so to speak, because her capacity to intake an almost impossible amount of data enabled her to move beyond her perceptual mechanism. See what I mean?"
"Yes, I think so."
"You do, but I want to show you how you look to her, and therefore to me."
Show me? thought Attum. In here? But then she began seeing the darkness itself congealing somehow, as though the particles of it were gravitating together and becoming denser, and in that densifying somehow becoming lighter. Shapes began to take form, small organic light blobs interconnected by fibrous optical pathways of streaming multicolored lights, all motion, all music, this marvelous instrument of flowing light with condensed areas, like nerve ganglia. And then she realized she was seeing something anthropomorphic, human-like, and she could discern that the condensed areas were organs, her heart and brain brilliant. As brilliant as all of this was becoming, she could make nothing out of the surrounding background. She still could make out nothing in the room.
"Why..."
"In a sense, we're bypassing your eyes, even though your eyes are involved in a peripheral capacity, and believe it or not it's because they didn't want to be left out. Check it out. Close them."
She did, and all that changed is the colors of the image became brighter, more alive. She reopened them. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And that's how I look to you right now?"
"Yes, only I'm able to resolve detail down to the nerve endings in your fingers. The tea your drinking - I see its life, not what the eyes see, but its life. I'm actually seeing you through you, but that's a little further along."
The image faded.
Attum: "How are you...? How is this...? What do you mean they didn't want to be left out?"
Neve: "Your eyes are self-sentient, self-aware entities with their own lives, thoughts and feelings, just like everything else, and they didn't want to be left out of this experience. Now I need to show you some other things, but this time with word-caused pictures. And a little something else. Three inches in front of your index finger is a small bowl. A little further. There it is. Inside is some powder. Dip your ring finger in it and touch it to your tongue. Close your eyes and witness what's next."
Instantly, and very vividly, there was an oval-shaped, light aquamarine gemstone which she took to be a diamond floating in her mind's eye. She remembered how well this room facilitates such experiences, and was forgetting that all of this would basically be impossible to believe for "regular folks." It was as though she were watching a cheesy science movie-show in the fifth grade. Now there was a golden warmth flooding every fiber and cell of her being. She could feel it propagating outward from the center of her, transforming her in waves. Although she hadn't been able to feel it with her fingertip, it was the powder she had put on her tongue, thrilling every part of her, lighting her up.
Neve: "Like that?"
Attum: "Oh boy! Do I ever! We need to bottle this stuff up and sell it."
Neve: "Unfortunately, you can't place a price on that which is priceless. Back to the diamond. Now move inside of it. You see how there is no division within it whatsoever, the illumination uniform, constant, homogenous?"
Attum: "Right. Perfectly symmetrical."
Neve: "Good way to put it. Remember that all of this is just a means of explaining what is unexplainable. But this imagery is a graphical representation of you in the primordial state of innocence, so to speak, a state of undifferentiated everythingness, if you will. Now, we'll truncate a bit of it, a little cut off right here, creating a facet."
As she watched, from inside the clear gemstone, she could see the cut away part separate and dissolve into the black background, and now there was a shaft of light which "fractured" the symmetry within, leading, tapering, all the way into the stone's "center" where it focused into a single point, and then "fractured" its way back out the "other side" of the point. The shafts were so vivid they looked solid, but she knew they were just light. It changed the entire character of the light within the stone. There was no way she could with any sense locate the center apart from the light shaft tapering to what was apparently the center, but at the same time she knew intuitively that it was she, that she was the center, but she still had a mercurial view of the shaft tapering to a center apparent to her "senses."
Neve: "Fracturing the symmetry might be better served by saying that it is refracting light in order to make the symmetry appear fractured."
Attum: "Exactly, because all I am seeing is the effect of the light, yet stacked and overlapping shafts shot through by the one facet appear absolutely solid, impenetrable."
Neve: "Right. I know you know where this is going, but let's stay the course. Now let's cut away another piece."
Another shaft blasted through the environment, shattering the view in every way. Every color of the rainbow was now represented because of the "interference" of the two shafts of light, and yet in no way did they intersect, or merge. They simply reflected and refracted off of each other sending glittering and sharp-edged geometric streamers off in every direction. The "center" was still elusive, almost as though it was a problem of definition, because when she deliberately "moved" herself in the environment everything else within it cooperatively moved, leaving her in what only her intuition could report was the center. She was completely surrounded by it, infused by it, consumed by it. The colors were so alive, yes alive, that she understood that they themselves had intelligence autonomous of her own. The experience of it was nearly orgasmic for her. She wanted to lie back and let it take her.
Neve: "It's all orgasmic. Can you imagine having another five or six senses in addition to your current subtle feeling sense?"
Attum: "I wouldn't be able to take it. I'd absolutely explode from within by a nuclear pleasure bomb or something."
Neve: "By the time we're finished with the completion of the raising of our physical beingness, we will have fifty-two senses activated. Right now I have two additional senses. Can you see why we have to take this in stages?"
Attum: "Now I do. The information of the Allness of us would blow us into a zillion pieces, and it is information. It does take up bandwidth in our neural pathways. It would be like trying to shove the digital information of a thousand phone lines into one."
Neve: "Exactly, and that is the immense activity of the All, because naturally your own wholeness would have to become that for full integration, and that activity pushes energy envelopes that are expressed as a kind of multisensory orgasm. Love itself is orgasmic because it is the nonstop creationary intelligence. It's never not in the midst of an orgasm. Would you like to know the name of this stone?"
Attum: "Yes."
Neve: "It has two names. One of them is 'I AM.'"
Attum: "And yet it also has two additional names because of the facets you cut, which is like saying two additional egos. This is the I AM Presence that knows every facet of its being, sees them simultaneously, operates within and above them all simultaneously, and yet has autonomous being, is me, and yet I am just one of the facets, and yet all the facets are also me when I look beyond the now-me and integrate those facets. In so doing, I become my undifferentiated Allness that can choose to individually express. All of those facets, so-called past lives, are gravitating together because of the choices I'm making and actions I'm taking."
Neve: "You also must understand that the thoughtform in whom you are having this experience is also an individual, with a name, that was projected to be here, today, to demonstrate this for you, and s/he thinks, feels, knows, has a sense of humor, and loves you."
Attum: "Projected by whom?"
Neve: "You, but we'll get to that. Now, again, prepare yourself by being both very empty and very large, and let your I AM Presence take over. Ready?"
Attum: "I guess." She felt an intense apprehension in her stomach, but once again, to hell with the fear! As she watched, one of the shafts began moving towards her, or was she moving towards it? She didn't know, but everything in this bizarre kaleidoscopic environment was moving cooperatively and the space between her and the multicolored shaft was decreasing. As this was happening, the energy of the entire environment was climbing right along with her own. Again, she felt as though she couldn't contain this vibration, as though she would disaggregate completely and become a billion twirling lights, all screaming in concert. "Oh, my...how are you doing this? Am I ready for this?"
Neve: "Just remember that I love you."
As she passed into the shaft, there was a faint solidity to it that she perceived to be only a different vibration, but there was a very definite "membrane" demarcating the two vibrations. She tried to close her eyes, but then remembered that they weren't involved in this in their normal capacity.
She found herself in a large and strikingly opulent chamber. Pieces of what she thought she was fell away as though they were being disremembered. Feeling disoriented, she was trying to make sense of this place. Looking to her right, she saw a woman (a servant?) disappear around a gilded corner. She felt as though she'd been drugged, euphoric and listless but trying to keep clear enough to make sense of this, and then she discovered a gold cup in her hand. She drank from it again, wondering why she would do that when she knew it contained a drug. Oh, now she remembered - she was waiting for her lover.
Something is different. Can't decide what it is. This doesn't feel right.
Her lover entered the chamber, dressed in a strange black gown laced with red. Her lover thought he was the King, but he wasn't. He was a rightful heir, yes, but she had the blood, the right of anointing through the Heiros Gamos, the Sacred Marriage. Only she could confer kingship. And then she remembered what the would-be King looked like, and this wasn't him. This man walking towards her was not a good man, and she began to understand. She had come under the influence of priests and had...what?
I told them...who? Who did I tell? What did I tell them? That I thought...well that's not unusual. My husband-to-be used his powers for the good of the flock, for whom he would become the shepherd king. The...the God-forsaken priests accused him of the black arts, using me falsely as a witness! My King believes me to be his betrayer! I've been deceived! Oh, God of All, get me out of here!
Now she realized she was on a bed, and before she knew it the man was on top of her, tearing away her sheer gown, and she was being raped and there was nothing she could do about it.
Neve: "Step away from the experience and watch as much as you care to."
Instantly she was standing apart from the scene, watching, disgusted, enraged, full of acid venom and hatred seething in an almost uncontrollable force that actually felt quite good. And then she began to realize something.
Attum: "It's you, Neve. You're raping me. Why are you doing that? I hate you right now."
Neve: "That's all right. You can turn off the movie by backing out of the shaft."
Attum: "NO. I'm staying right here, you bastard. Oh, this is horrible! What are you doing? You're doing something with my neck and now something with my forehead. Now the back of my neck again. What're you doing? It's like my consciousness is fragmenting, in a sense."
Neve: "Back out of the scene."
She did and was back in the multicolored light-shattered environment.
Neve: "That man deeply resented the power in women. Your betrothed was a good man that intended to undermine the power of the priesthood. They manufactured the charges using you, and they secretly wanted to usurp power anyway because the 'throne' had access to objects and symbols and how to use them that were closely guarded secrets. One of the institutions that they were in the process of destroying was that the royal blood in the female line of the dynastic line of sacred marriages had the right to confer kingship by anointing. Mary Magdalene performed that same anointing on Jesus. Soon thereafter, you were also charged with practicing the black arts and were put to death alongside your betrothed, who wouldn't even look at you he was so injured by what he thought you had done to him.
"The rape I performed on you was a magical procedure that actually had the potential to fragment your soul. That potential fragmentation was made complete by the fact that your betrothed took with him his belief that you had betrayed him, you knew this, and there you were, gagged, unable to tell him the truth, and one word from you would have convinced him, and the unbearable pain of that is what you took with you upon your passing. Had you for example been able to resign yourself on the spot to the idea that it could be made right some way or another, and forgiven, yes, forgiven, those that brought this about, you would not have become fragmented. Forgiveness was applicable because at that time we didn't quite have the expansive view that we do now. Of course you chose the experience, but you didn't know that. In any event, it's time for you to get back that part of your soul."
Attum: "Wow. But I don't hate you right now. Why not?"
Neve: "Well, the second shaft caused by the second facet is the scene in which you raped me much later. I naively volunteered for the job for reasons that will come to light after you've processed all this, but I did that because a part of me believed that I could give back what I had been instrumental in taking. You did the raping to get even."
Attum: "Wow."
Neve: "We created the second shaft just in case you needed proof."
Attum: "No. I know it's true. So what do we do?"
Neve: "Your betrothed is here, now, awaiting the moment. He is your soulmate, not in a body as we know them at this time. He's still experiencing the context of that time, and so are you, only you're experiencing the context of now only through your present physical framework, but that embodiment plays itself over and over, wanting integration. From his point of view, you are his darling princess, dressed in gossamer gowns. He has waited for millennia to return to you your lost soul piece. Now is the time. Are you ready?"
The I AM diamond with its two facets disappeared.
Attum: "Yes." She heard some rustling of clothes, and feet across the floor. She sensed him in front of her recliner.
Neve: "He's going to use my body." She sensed that his back was to her. "On the floor directly below the chair's arm is a staff. Get it, stand up, and locate the areas along my spine to touch with the staff."
Attum: "How will I know where to place it?"
Neve: "You already know. You've done it before. Just let it happen through you."
With the staff, here in the total black, she stood suddenly with purpose, fueled by something she couldn't name, but she knew, somehow, what she must do. Reaching out with her feelings, she gently touched Neve's spine with the staff and moved it up and down until it felt...right. She paused on several different areas, and there seemed to be a slight glow beginning.
Neve: "Now put the staff down and put yourself against my back, back to back."
As she did so, she saw before her a semi-transparent and magnificent man from the torso up in full period regalia. The dress appeared to be Egyptian, but she was not knowledgeable enough to place it in a time. He extended his hands. Emanating from them were columns of energy, light blue. He turned them sideways and integrated them by moving his hands together and holding them towards her.
Neve: "Do you accept?"
Attum: "Willingly, with all my mind, heart and soul."
Neve: "Then it is done."
The man started to phase out, and she heard in her head, "Soon, Beloved, soon."
Attum: "Wow. Man! I am just...there is a lot going on that we just don't see."
Neve: "Millions and millions and millions of times as much as we are able to see. What's important to know right now is that your torn soul, your essence, also meant that all of us on Earth were also torn because of it. Your integration just now integrated all of us as well. Congratulations. Things are going to change for you."
Attum: "They already are. And thanks, Neve. I love you too."


CHAPTER 10

CHARACTERS
Female Student: Attum
Male Student: Neve
Guru: Pat
Seashella: Special Guest

The Students and the Guru were chatting quietly and pleasantly in the impenetrable blackness, touching gently on light topics such as 1,000,000-year-old civilizations, the destruction of Atlantis, the engineering of DNA and the enslavement of humankind. However, the discussion was about to turn serious.
Attum: "So, what have I not been told?"
Guru: "Neve?"
Neve: "A thousand years after you raped me, with our 'conflict' still unresolved, you and I were in a mystery school in what is now Syria, and I was still carrying my resentment of girls and women that started even before my role as the evil priest in the Egyptian movie. We each did Egyptian movies a bunch of times. Same with Atlantis. You see, you are..."
Guru: "Ooops! Not quite yet!"
Neve: "You're right. In that mystery school, I was the only boy, and I was the slowest student. There was so much self-supporting feminine energy in it I just couldn't keep up, but the girls were actually very good to me about it, helping me all they could, which made me resent them all the more. You were the nicest of them all in fact, trying to make it up to me about the rape a thousand years before. And for that reason you really pushed my buttons - I just seethed inside while I tried to smile at you and be pleasant. I didn't want to murder you, but I did want to beat you up. Never got around to it though. The instructors knew all about it, but stayed well back of interfering lest they impose their own version of a resolution. Meanwhile, I took it to all of you in sports - the one area in which I could prevail. That's a very large pattern in all of society that's still prevalent today, although we're witnessing an expanding equalization on that front. There is great and powerful magic in the feminine principal because of the focus on the feeling nature, and so in magical arts women were more often than not better at it, and the threatened egoic male principal has responded to it, and so much more, by bullying the feminine.
"Fast-forward a few hundred years, and I'm Peter, disciple of Jesus, still resenting women. I flat out hated Mary Magdalene. I can feel that hatred as a sour taste in my mouth even now. I almost lost my mind over that, and I might have killed her, literally, if I hadn't thought that Jesus was breathing down my neck the whole time. You weren't in that particular movie. I thought I could swallow that acid and get on with the mission, so to speak, pleasing Jesus, who I did love very much, but for whatever reason I couldn't see the Truth of what I needed to do, and Jesus wasn't ever going to step in and say, 'Dude, don't you get it? You have to embrace your hatred, admit it, talk about it, and above all sit face-to-face with Mary in order to get it resolved.' So we sowed the seeds of a very dark religion that over the next three-hundred years borrowed from Rabbinical Judaism and instituted across-the-board discrimination against women. Women needed to be crushed, period, and we thought this because of our fear. This is all way over simplified. But it's important to know that of all the Church Fathers, only a few were aware that they were being influenced by what we would call evil intelligences.
"Darkness, evil, whatever you prefer, springs from within the hearts and minds of people as visualizations, intents and ideas, period, establishing patterns that take root in the collective consciousness, and intelligent life, energy, beings of all types, builders of form, holders of form, respond. That's all. The darkness that has pervaded the Holy Roman Church since day one is all of our doing, whether we want to believe it or not. We're all culpable. We all agreed to it. The residue of that darkness remains, but more and more light enters into it despite the fiction it is founded upon. It will either change or dissolve.
"So we fast-forward another hundred-fifty years, and yet another mystery school in Southern France. This is where Mary Magdelene set up shop after crossing the Mediterranean by boat - in fact a couple of boatloads of Marys crossed - after Jesus disappeared and reappeared a few times. Em'n'Em took off..."
Attum: "'Em'n'Em'?"
Neve: "Mary Magdalene. She took off to Greece and had their daughter in one of the temples there, and then returned to continue the work alongside several other feminine principal mystery schools mixed in with the teachings that Jesus brought through. She understood something that nobody really knows about, but we'll get to that after your question..."
Attum thought, What question? But she asked this instead: "I guess we could consider LATA the latest mystery school you and I are doing together?"
Guru: "Yes. Only the frequency of the entire Earth environment is so different now that 'mystery school' is a misnomer - a wake-up club serves just fine."
Neve: "In this movie the roles were reversed. This school had about fifty-fifty boys and girls, but you were the boy and I was the girl. We were ultimately confused about our roles. I was in fact a homosexual to help me understand both sides of the brain and the roles that we kept repeating in keeping with the established patterns, which of course we were trying to break, but the programming stemming from conditioned response is very powerful. We almost managed it at that time because we were very good friends. After that a few hundred years, and this time a Druidic mystery school located in Northern France, but this time both of us were boys, and Roman Churchianity was trying to shove itself down our throats, and we on the surface complied, but after pretending to worship, we'd run off into the forest together, get in the ponds and wash what we called 'their filth' off our bodies. So, here we are today, getting it all reconciled."
Attum: "Haven't there been extraterrestrial influences also in all of this? I mean, we haven't been alone in our exploration of the dark, have we?"
Neve: "Pat?"
Guru: "Yes, but all of those influences wouldn't have been here without our collective opening of the door and inviting them in. This is all our doing, and as soon as Earth's people accept their role and responsibility of that, the better."
Attum: "You've been sitting in this cave for seven days seeing and integrating all of your past stuff?"
Neve: "Just the stuff that needed resolution and integration, which actually wasn't all that much. Only fairly rotten leftovers. You and I left off in that last early Christian period. Most of this seven days - well, more like 14 nights - has been to expand into the larger me, but to do that I had to view quite a lot of what is me. In viewing that, I by default saw quite a lot of what you is. And I don't mind saying that I quite liked seeing as much of you as I did."
Attum: "So what does Seashella...wait a minute. What do you mean by that?"
Guru: "Come. Let's get on with this."
Neve: "Nothing. Honest. I didn't peek...much."
Attum: "I'll get with you on that later. So what does all this have to do with Seashella?"
Guru: "Neve?"
Neve: "She has multiple roles, not the least of which being to connect with me, expand me, and teach me a few things. Part of what she is doing is using me as a computer terminal, sort of, to download what she needs to know of Earth. All that data is encoded in us all - any of us could be used as the library terminal. That's the give and take of our connection. She expands and teaches me, I function as a terminal. In her learning, she is able to process Earth's pain. Her planet and Earth are actually close friends and she has the capacity of being able to see everything that needs to be seen for a given purpose in a given moment and to transmute that energy. She's sitting on a secluded beach on their planet being cared for by a friend while this takes place. It's almost finished - for now. She says she wishes she could be involved in our fun."
Attum: "Our fun? She thinks thousands of years of oppression, slavery and brutality is fun?"
Neve: "Yes. From her point of view, she thinks it would have been a blast to have played various roles in those movies."
Attum: "So she's taught you how to do all you have done today?"
Neve: "She's reminded me of the means and the meaning, yes."
Attum: "But she is you?"
Neve: "She is one of the facets of I AM with which I, Neve, am just a very small part. My various lifestreams of various contexts will all collapse into an integrated whole, as will yours, where you will be without gender, without any one of these particular personalities prevailing, and this is the freedom that people seek, although there are a great many who are so attached to what they think they are, who they think they are, no matter how awake they think they are, that they will be very hard-pressed to let go of it - the ego of the present - when the time comes. It is this attachment that in fact keeps them from attaining the freedom they seek."
Attum: "So you've been the cause of all this today? You've been able to do these superhuman things because of what she taught you?"
Neve: "Together, she and I entered a kind of simultaneity, a synchronized juncture between points in time, where she could carry out a specific function. Am I the cause? No, not the cause. Is it time?"
Guru: "Bang away, Junior."
Neve: "You, my friend, are the cause of all of it, every shred of it."
Attum: "I am? I did all this today?"
Neve: "Yes. Five years ago you came to me and triggered something in me that would have the domino effect of both of us winding up in this school, leading to this very moment, on this very day. You willingly reached a point where the synchronization of your heart and mind sent a signal into the All, and the All responded by letting your I AM know that you were ready; not necessarily that it was time, which is irrelevant, but that you were ready. Your readiness was determined by you and you alone. All of the intelligence points, the players, were therefore put on notice, myself included but unknown to my small self, and all the players came together to comply with your own layout. But remember, there is always complementarity. In other words, it can't have been for your benefit alone. I also benefit according to a plan of my I AM in keeping with a Cosmic Design. The chain reaction moving in waves throughout the world causes everybody to benefit. It's absolute perfection because it can't be any other way - there isn't a piece of it that doesn't 'move' or respond with complementarity. The I AM is the only comprehensive intelligence that sees the entire playing field, the blueprint, and to keep us from being overwhelmed simply thrusts into our state of beingness precisely that which is required for that moment."
Attum: "But I am the cause of all these little miracles?"
Neve: "The cause, yes. But to answer your question, I am the unit of facilitation, thus Seashella teaching me how to connect to the All and then facilitating, letting, these things take place in this chamber, which itself is optimized for facilitation such as this. I am for the moment the fount of the energy required to let it happen."
Attum: "I'm still not quite with it."
Guru: "My dear, you are a High Priestess, a Magdal, as was Mary the Magdal, with considerable learning and immense power because of your previous attainments. Sometime around sixteen-thousand BC there was a culture in Southern France that chose to live a pastoral, harmonious, 'down-to-earth' existence instead of migrating into the fold of Atlantis, which was by then becoming quite male. Behold."
Attum felt something move in the depths of her, a causation of some sort building, and she let it express. She watched as a scene developed in her "vision" against the pitch blackness. She saw a village of men, women and children, clearly very harmonious, and she knew within that it was a culture of Goddess worship, fertility, understanding the power of the fecund feminine Earth, where it was understood that the womb was the unbroken chain, the connectedness, of this primordial knowledge. The men well understood it as well, but there was an imbalance in the grid of collective human consciousness developing because of the blossoming over-maleness, and it was contaminating all the Earth through the pool of collective being. There was a jealousy brewing, even if a portion of the cause was coming from somewhere in the future.
The women were magnificent, their hair a force of nature. They rarely, sometimes never, cut their hair, and the way it was worn was the method of distinction as to what level they had attained in their priestess craft: around the waist as a sash for the clothing, piled high on the head and cascading down the back, entwined with small branches and functioning as an array, a plume, out from behind their heads. Attum knew instinctively that the device of that array, the plumage, had found its way into art, including Renaissance art, and often usurped by men.
As she watched, one of the women who wore her hair as a multicolored array behind her head abruptly stopped what she was doing and looked straight into Attum's eyes. She walked towards her, almost as though she were walking towards a camera. In her head, Attum heard the words, "You are my mirror, my Sister. I love you as Life Itself loves. I am you and you are me. I see me as you in the far future, completing our work, being courageous, loving, hopeful, never giving up. Together we will have many embodiments, but this is our last in this cycle, dearest. It is time to let Life express fully through you. Soon you will be engifted with a vessel of all knowledge. Our sisters, ourselves, concealed it along with many others throughout the ages, often in the care and keeping of our brothers. Once again, we are one."
The scene closed from all sides like an aperture in black space.
Attum felt arising and expanding from within her absolute center an ineffable power, a knowing beyond all description, a love so all-encompassing and so all-infusing, she was certain she would die. And yet there was so much caring, so much comfort in it, and she knew that she loved this woman so much that it was an absolutely agonizing ecstasy, and in that loving knowing that she was only loving herself, because there was but One Thing to love. In that realization she expanded into the encompassment of the cave, the womb of it, and became the female spirit of it, and became the birther, the birthing and the birthed, the unbroken circle of causes.
Attum: "OH MY GOD!" she shrieked. "Impossible beauty! Impossible beauty! Impossible beauty! It's so beautiful I can't stand it! I can't... I can't ... I ...aaaagggghhhhaaagghhhh!"
She screamed the primordial scream for thirty seconds straight, the letting go of the pain of the world, the beauty of the pain, the knowing power of the feminine oppressed, and knowing that the oppression was needed for a building of pressure, a pressure to be released now, at this time, in the world, for a transformational wave to sweep over the world and become anchored inexorably in the collective pool of consciousness, all by design. Every bit of it by design, all carried out by her, by us, the volunteers. It was never not by design. She rocked and ructioned, thrashing about in the recliner, screaming and crying and swearing at the men for being such assholes for never having to experience the giving of physical birth, although all the men have done so in one embodiment or another.
It was becoming too large for her and she begged for it to stop, but it was too late, there was no going back. Simultaneously, everything she had ever been was here, now, available in the kaleidoscopic diamond, thousands and thousands and thousands of modes and contexts of being, in and out of embodiment, each a facet, and each facet a tone, ringing, and the collective ringing was the symphony of her being, all held within the singleness of I AM. Reaching out, she touched them like some fantastically complex virtual reality musical instrument, ten thousand multicolored diamonds, and their tones rang in unison, making harmonious chords. When she stroked anything disharmonious, she tuned the instrument and the new resonance, perfect, balanced, rang through her. She could touch any one of them and see and experience the context, which she knew was happening even then, and brought harmony to that context. Impossible beauty...impossible beauty...over and over in her mind.
The last conscious thought she could manage as Attum was: There was never separation, only the desire for facets of experience, and the desire caused those facets.